Good Dream and Orchestra

So I had a really good dream last night. Even had one yesterday when I was napping with Little One. But do you think I remember either one?? No. Sorry. Wish I could, because they were both very detailed.

Instead, I quit my orchestra yesterday. I had just come back from taking a break with Little One, but I haven't been happy playing this season. I play oboe in a volunteer orchestra. I give up Monday nights and a few Sundays to play. The reason I started playing with them was to play at Severance Hall. It was the most amazing experience of my life - to play where the greats have played with amazing sound quality. I have now played there a handful of times and each time is the same awe-inspiring experience.

Yesterday I went to play for a ballet with my orchestra at the Bohemian Hall. I checked the website in the a.m. for directions and a starting time. 3:00. OK - If I go to the Purim Carnival and leave early I can still get there on time. I do this. I get there on time, only to find out that the concert was misprinted in the paper and has to start at 3:30. At this point I get mad. I've already given up two Sundays in a row with a third one to come with a one week break and that's not including the Severance Hall concert. I'm furious at this point. I get emotional. I tell the conductor's wife I quit. She says: "You quit over half an hour?" No. I quit because that was 1/2 hour of time I could have been spending with my kids - still at the carnival. I quit because there are too many Sundays. I work full time and the weekends are my only days with my kids. I quit because I am putting them first for now. I quit because the music has been awful. We have too many concerts to give the orchestra time to learn new compositions and I'm so bored with the music. How many times am I going to have to play Colonel Bogey???

I will still keep playing and will, one day, join another band or orchestra. My kids are only little once. I know it was an emotional decision, but I'd been contemplating stopping after this season anyway. I just didn't want to do it so rashly. I am a bit sad about my decision. Some of the girls there were really nice. I felt very intimadated by the first oboist when I first got there. She's good. I learned a lot from her. She's so funny and nice.

It turns out that I'm known as the complainer in the orchestra. The first oboist is on the Board and while it was being discussed about any complaints she said that some people are complaining about the number of Sunday concerts. They guessed it to be me. I know I am not the only one upset about this. Why I am I the only one who verbalizes it? This is what I sometimes try to get away from - being the one who is able to speak her mind. Well, I'd rather speak my mind then sit quietly and be unhappy.