What a Weekend

I know I had a dream last night. I believe it was about work, although my co-worker had a dream that there was a pond outside of work and we would swim and watch tv all day. My map dot fingerprint dystrophy acted up not once this weekend, but, just like dipping on Passover, it acted up twice this weekend. Saturday I was up at 4 am and last night it was 1 am, although last night wasn't nearly as bad as Saturday night. I seriously wanted to take my eye out and have a glass eye. I cannot describe how painful this condition can be. You can't close your eye, you can't open your eye. Nothing you can do makes it feel better. Ibuprofen helps the pain a little, but you're scared to go back to sleep in fear that the your eye will dry out even more and rip the cornea a 2nd time in the same night. I don't know what to do right now. I can go back to my ophthalmologist, although I don't know how much I trust her right now. I can find someone new - which is probably what I will do. I have no continuity of care. 1 1/2 years ago I was told it was "dry eyes". 1/2 year ago I was told it was map dot fingerprint dystrophy, which is not curable and mine seems to be getting worse. The whole next day I'm disoriented and dizzy because it throws off my equilibrium. It affects my reading, which scares me tremendously. Oh, what to do, what to do.