Shooting Stars

It starts out at Little One's babysitter's house. Her picture is on the side of delivery trucks. It's huge, but she needs to take a new one. She complains that she has nowhere to take the picture, all she has is her kitchen - no good backgrounds. Two of the delivery trucks have to go out on runs.

Skip to a gathering with some of my friends. John Jr. takes on his DJ duties and starts Emceeing a wedding that is taking place. He gets everyone into a circle - kind of like in kindergarten where you have to hold hands and spread out and then let go. Then he starts talking to people to get them to open up with issues they are having. His brother Guido is sitting on the ground and he starts singing this song like "It's the Crystal Meth - It's what it does to 'ya". In this singsonging way that I can't relay in writing. He keeps saying that over and over again.

Skip to me trying to get home. It turned out that the circle of friends was taking place in space and I forgot how to get home. I see a star, but it's not just a circle of light. It's a star shape on the outside and it's clear and has a border and is shimmering and beautiful. I can't remember how to get home from space so I call my friend Rob and he told me how to do it. I find this nebulous form. It's brown and it reminds me of a mushroom but it has a cap on both ends. I catch it but it was the wrong thing to catch on the "space highway". It drops me off in a very wrong spot and it turns out I'm in the middle of nowhereseville. I'm in this soupy, grassy place. There's not a lot of water, but enough. I see some baby turtles on the side of the road but there are these miniature alligators who are swimming towards me and don't know what to make of it. I'm trying to calm them down, but they want to get me. They are getting mad. I hear someone (which is amazing since I'm in nowhereseville) but I can't call to that person to help me. He was a park ranger type of person who was checking the turtles, but for some reason he didn't see me.

And them at 4 am my husband finally got off of his crack (World of Warcraft) and came to bed, unintentionallywoke me up and I had to relay the entire dream to him because as I was waking up I was worried the alligator things were going to get me. I explained the entire dream to him and then he started making fun of me. He waved his hands over my eyes to make sure that I was really awake (I have been known to talk in my sleep) and then I kept making fun of the sing-song about the crystal meth. I think that's why I remembered this dream so well.

Wal-Mart Gift Cards

(Yes, Molly, the picture is for you.) Don't buy toothpaste at Wal-Mart.

I had to walk through this very odd tunnel that was made out of wood. There were two levels. The upper level was more fun but had bigger steps to climb. The lower level got you to where you wanted to go faster. So I walked over this wood structure to get to Wal-Mart. I had to run an errand for my mom. She handed me a pile of gift cards and I had to find out how much money was left on them. No one would help me. There was no one at customer service. They had a party going on that was invitation only. Finally I was able to get someone to help me, but she only went through 1/4 of the stack of cards and wouldn't help me anymore.

I walked out of a different door then when I walked in and remember having to walk all the way around the building to get to the wood structure. When I went to Wal-Mart, I went the "fun" side and when I came back from Wal-Mart, I discovered the "faster" side.

Hmmm - fun vs. goal oriented. What would my gestaltist friend make of that? And Wal-Mart of all places. I know yesterday when I was driving home from my mother-in-laws I thought that it's been a while since we've spoken and that's probably why you were in my dream last night - even if it was through Wal-Mart. The fun vs. goal oriented is probably a big chunk of how I'm looking at my life. My husband is the "fun" and I'm the "goal oriented". Case in point - I got him a garbage can (albeit a very nice, state of the art, garbage can) for Chanukah and he got me a digital camera. Hmmmm.....

Heart Attack

From Saturday night:

My co-worker, Teresa, was driving me in a truck. All of a sudden my leg felt completely numb and I knew I didn't feel right. I leaned over to her and said, very sluridly, "Call 911". I knew I was having a heart attack.

A minute later police showed up and they said that by the way I was talking they knew I was in serious trouble and was having a heart attack.

Then I woke up.

Tumor and Acceptance

I had a deadly tumor. It was making me bleed profusely - very flowy blood. I knew I would die soon. I called my brother. There was a really steep roller coaster, even more steep than the Millenium, with two small hills on it. I had to choose between seeing my brother and riding the coaster - or I wanted him to ride it with me, I can't remember which now.

Switch to a house. There were two people from my childhood there. They had gone behind my back and started dating. I wasn't upset about it. I had let it go and just wanted it behind me.

Switch to sitting in my car outside of a house. I was calling Gus, a car guy that someone had given me his number. I needed help with my car. We started talking about the cancer and he empathized with me. He hugged me. He was helping me get a money situation cleared up.

As always, there is so much more detail. I don't even know if I'm remembering this one correctly - it doesn't feel quite right to me.

Can we say "issues" here? What is so dire in my thoughts right now to cause this dream. Maybe it's a lack of control, which I am feeling right now. It could be my Dad's cancer which has me thinking about death. Gus is going to make it all better? Now, if I can just find Gus.

Perspective

The only thing I remember is that I was taking perspective pictures, like the ones where it looks like there are four arms coming out of one body but it's really two people and it's the way people are positioned or where it looks like someone is holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa, except that the perspective shots I needed to get were a person (the person I was taking a picture of) looking like they were standing on top of something.

Dogs and New Cities

Dave and I were driving down the freeway. There was a guy there with a buddy whose lawn went right up against it. His black lab was on the freeway so Dave and I stopped. We told the guy that the dog is on the freeway but he didn’t seem to care. The dog jumped over the meridian and started running down the other embankment. Dave and I were trying to get the dog back. Finally the guy realized what had happened. He didn’t think that the dog could jump over the meridian like it did. The dog was very soft and gentle and Dave, being Dave, mentioned yet again – don’t I want a dog of my own.

Switch to another city. We were driving to another city because we were looking for a better school for G. It was on the New Jersey / Philly border I think. As we were driving around there was a very large ferris wheel that was in the middle of the city. It went over people’s heads as they were driving kind of like you could walk under a roller coaster at Cedar Point. We were lucky – it stopped to let someone off because they were too scared so we got on. The cars weren’t the kind like only 2 people sat in them. It was more of a car like in the Paris ferris wheel, but the ferris wheel went very fast and it followed an oblong path as opposed to a circular one.

Switch to a hotel room. I was there with a bunch of people. I think we were hiding out. We were all trying to find jobs. This one guy felt lucky (I think it was my father-in-law – he was wearing a button down shirt with a vest and about to finish getting dressed. I asked him where he found work and he said, now I can’t remember what he said but I know it was an extremely low paying job. We were all exploring this new city. It was nighttime and the city felt very foreign. Lots of old buildings and winding streets. It was almost like a movie because of the “love triangles”. One girl A likes a guy but this other girl B liked the guy instead and a third girl knew both sides of the story. I walked in on girl B and she was trying to motion like they weren’t fooling around trying to get me to go in on her story.

Switch to another time. The only thing I can remember is G complained that something was in his tooth and when I went to look at it it fell out, but not at the root. I was excited that my big boy lost a tooth but worried because it didn’t feel right. I put the tooth in milk and called the dentist. G was complaining that it hurt a lot and I went to look for motrin for him.

And yet again, as always, I know there was even more, but wakefulness makes it elude me.

A side note...

I don't support the war, any war, really, but I do support our troops and felt really touched when I read the following email. I hope anyone who reads this will send our troops a card.

Something cool that Xerox is doing - If you go to this web site, http://www.letssaythanks.com youcan pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it, and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq . You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to some member of the armed services.How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!!This is a great site. Please send a card.It is FREE and it only takes a second.Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these? Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them.

Physical Therapy and Secrets

I was having physical therapy for my back. There were two beds in one room. No one was supposed to know that I was having physical therapy. It was a big secret. I had visitors. I remember walking down the street and going to see a friend.

As usual, there was way more to this dream. That's what happens when it's 3 hours before you can write anything down.

Snow

The only thing I remember from last night is that I dreamt it snowed. That's it. I had a Nyquil induced dreamless sleep for the most part.

Dreams, but what were they?

I dreamt both nights this weekend. They were vivid dreams, very involved. But what were they? I know they were technologically based, whether in a factory where things happened over and over or at a keyboard or something of that nature. I remembered the dreams when I woke up but didn't make any notes or anything so promptly forgot them. I need to start keeping a live journal to jog my memory here. I seem to dream best right now between when Little One wakes in the morning and then goes back out. That one hour of sleep is so on the surface that that is why I dream the best then.

I have to know what time it is when I get up in the morning. I have to have a clock. And, if I don't wake up at least a few minutes before my alarm to give my self those few "extra" minutes, my night feels off. I think it has something to do with remembering my dreams. They say that REM is really sleep-wakefulness because it is your deepest sleep but your brain waves are the closest to looking like an awake brain. I'll talk more on this later, because I'm still thrown off from my very chaotic weekend, but wanted to put it out there.

Grocery Store Checkout Lines

I was in line at the grocery store. I was eating my chocolates that I was buying. They were round and came in a container like chinese takeout. They were half eaten. I was standing there waiting and the person in front of me was nasty. She had 2 teenaged girls. She was buying a salad and the container was open (like at a cafeteria) and her olives kept falling off of her plate. She said "So what if my olives fall off." The person behind me was Noel. She was buying chocolate and wanted to know if I was to share any? Of course I did.

Hmmm....Wonder what the chocolate stands for?

PS to going to bed early

So the other day I posted about how I went to bed early and was still tired the next day...well, this is what I think happened. Early to mid-October I got a flu shot. 4 days later my back started hurting. The pain kept moving all around. I figure I got a mild case of the flu. It persisted for a while but my back is starting to feel better. Of course, Little One has an ear infection right now and I'm definitely fighting something off (successfully, I think). I just need to take it easy for the next couple days or it will come out full blast, I can just tell. But, I'm going to use positive thinking - I will not get sick and it won't get any worse. Get some sleep - and I'll feel better. Little One - Please keep sleeping through the night and Munchkin - you do the same - stop letting your overactive imagination wake you up and scare you. Mommy and Daddy are just in the next room. Well, at least Mommy can hear you in the middle of the night.

I know I had a dream last night. I know it had a major part to do with Camp Wise. I know it was a nice dream. I just can't remember it because my screaming, crying 4 year old woke me up at 3 a.m. and I had to rush into his bedroom to calm him down. Goodbye memory of the dream. I had to wake up too fast. Luckilymy 6 month old sick baby slept through the night (after a rough start).

Oh well, such is the life of a dreamer.

Pizza Bagels, Bees and Tiny Dog

We were eating dinner. Making it, actually, and we were making mini pizza bagels. We burned them really badly. My neighbors (my boss and his wife) were spray painting their garage. They were having my older son do it. They were painting it white I think, from beige, but it was hard to tell if it was that way or the other way around. It was all tore up. Boards were broken and rotting and there were bees buzzing all around, but they were painting it without doing any prep work. Dave thought they were doing a horrible job. I was walking down a field with my family. There were thousands of people there walking all around. I didn’t know why they were there but I was waiting for my brother and my family. I needed Dave to bring me different shoes. I had on sandals and I needed a different pair. I couldn’t wear both pairs at the same time, even though I tried, so I chose the pair that Dave had brought me. I had been wearing this pair I had bought from Wal-Mart and he brought me a pair that I had bought when we first got married. We were all waking down a pathway together. We were then walking into the back door of my house. We were sitting around the dinner table. All of a sudden someone storms into the house and takes a girl out with them. We didn’t even know she was sitting there with us. We hadn’t given her any dinner. It was her grandparents that took her out. I had my baby in my arms and ran after her to apologize. I hadn’t realized she was there and hadn’t been fed. She was just looking at me like, what about me? Why did you forget about me? Then there was this scrawny, skinny, tiny ugly dog who had a bladder problem. I didn’t know it had a bladder problem. It was the kind where as soon as the dog needed to go out, you better get there in 2 seconds or else the dog wouldn’t make it. The dog had to go and I got to the door and was having trouble getting it open. The dog started peeing right there and when I got the door open peed right outside the door. It was the skinniest, scrawniest dog I had ever seen.

As always there's WAY more detail, but ....

From Europe to America

I was in Europe. Dave was with me. Someone was in a wheelchair. We were moving back to the States and I was going on a separate trip than everyone else. Dave took almost everything with him and I had a truck (the kind with the open-back end) with all the furniture in it. Well, it wasn't furniture necessarily but it was all made out of wood.

Then there were "bad" guys who were out to hurt me and my family. Dave was safe. Someone was pushed to the end of the driveway into a pool, but he (or she) was safe there and, just like in all the cartoons, turned it back around on the bad guys. Then there was a long lost friend who was there. She said she would come and visit in the States because, miraculously enough, she was moving there too.

There was much more than that and much, much more detail - but, like most of my blogs will show, that's what I can remember 2 hours later...

Leaping Tall Buildings

My dream last night:

I'm working, but it's not really my work. I'm driving around trying to find a house. They all look different, but they all look the same too - different colors. I keep thinking I see the house I need but then it's the wrong one.

I'm driving to the freeway and see two of my bosses (my real life bosses) behind me. I wave to them and they wave back. It's a freeway entrance that's monitored, like in LA. Only 3 cars can go at a time. I am the last of three so my bosses are left behind. I get on the freeway going 99 miles an hour.

All of a sudden I'm not in my car anymore. I'm jumping from one tall building to another, making it without any problem. Kind of like in Trinity in the Matrix, in one of the beginning scenes, but not futuristic or anything. All of a sudden I get to a weird building and realize I won't make it so I fall.

And then I wake up.

PS - Early to Bed - Early to Rise

BTW - As opposed to not having time to go to bed (hmmmm....) I fell asleep during Veronica Mars (does anyone know what happened last night?) So instead of forcing myself to stay awake to get bottles together or do anything for that matter, I was in bed by 10:00.

I'm still tired, but not so much as if I had gone to bed later.

So I remembered the first part of my dream as I woke up at 4 a.m., making a bottle, only to get Little One and find him fast asleep in his crib. I don't remember it now, of course.

The end of it - well, the middle of it, goes a little like this. There were a bunch of kids all mulling around a bicycle. There were more people than that there, but all I really noticed were these kids, and I remember yelling at them to be careful and that they were being rowdy.

Unfortunately, that's all that I remember. I know that the first part of the dream I was happy. It was all nice, but the bicycle part wasn't. I remember feeling mad or angry.

Aimless

This was supposed to have been posted yesterday, but....

So Saturday night we had the silent auction. The auction itself went well, but the ending (where everyone claimed their winnings and paid) was WAY more chaotic then I wanted. I left one thing to my co-chair, to get the volunteers organized, and she didn't do it. She approached people DURING the auction. They had no clue what was going on. I was so frustrated. Needless to say, after the event, I have all of the items that people didn't claim because they left early and those items that didn't sell. I have to coordinate getting things out of my house. I don't even know who paid and who didn't. That's probably the worst part.

Anyway, I didn't get to bed until 1:30 and woke up at 6:ish with Little Man and I was tired. We all stayed in our PJ's until at least 11 a.m. and the only reason we got dressed was because we needed to buy food. We went to Sam's Club and Catalano's. At both places we all wandered aimlessly. We haven't had such a terrible grocery shopping trip in such a long time. All day was like that. No direction, nothing accomplished. Aaah well. I can sleep when I'm dead, right?

Restful Night

Well, I finally got a "full" night's sleep last night. No baby, no pre-k child. I did wake up briefly at 6:30 a.m. to check the clock. I know I had some nice dreams, but I was too tired to remember them. I did, however, wake up tired still. For some reason if I don't wake up at least once shortly before my alarm is supposed to go off I feel like I need even more sleep. There's some mental component of getting at least 10 minutes more sleep and not doing it after my alarm goes off that I need. If there's no clock by my bed I also feel at a loss. I need to know what time it is when I wake up, no matter what time it is or how many times I wake up in the middle of the night.

Wish I Was Sleeping

I'm soooo tired. I am falling asleep just sitting here. I was I could dream right now.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Not my dream last night. I know I had something pleasant, but my son had a "bad" dream. He was in a house that was not his house and there was a monster and, here's the bad part, he wasn't a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. I think he needs to feel powerful.

Sleepless and dreamless night

Once again, last night I could not sleep. No dreams even, which I thought I would have since I started contemplating keeping this blog. (Yes, I am still contemplating just deleting it.) This silent auction that I am working on is infiltrating my sleep. My son even slept through until at least 5:00 a.m., which is really good, but I woke up at 4:00. I tried relaxation techniques, and listening to my husband and son's breathing helped, but I just couldn't find slumber.

I had to get up and out of bed and got onto the computer. It didn't help - especially because after I went back upstairs, my son was awake and, even though he was playing around, he was going to need to eat before long.

First Post of the Day

I am a firm believe that blogs are intended to be read by others. I can't write completely honestly because I don't even keep a journal. Even when I kept a journal, I always thought: "If so-and-so read this they would think [add thought] or they would be hurt." I am prefacing my blog with - I am not going to write anything that will hurt someone I know specifically if I think it will hurt them. Or if I will have second thoughts if I know they read it.

I'm not a particularly good writer, but my blog is going to concentrate mostly on my dreams. I used to keep a dream journal and I think I will go back to that. I remember a lot of dreams and right now, because I wake up at least once in the middle of each and every night, I remember even more. So I am going to explore them a bit and see if I can make sense of them. If nothing else, when I look back through my old dream journal, I can remember particular times in my life. We'll see if that works again. I have to write my dreams down right when I wake up and since I am on the computer mostly at work, that's a near impossibility - so we'll see how much my much dwindling memory can remember.

Now, let's see if I can figure out how all of this blog stuff works. It's going to take some getting used to. (Already I can't figure out how to get spaces between my paragraphs - give me Word!)