A Trip Out West (Saturday's Dream)

I went to Seattle or San Francisco to visit my friend Teresa (who doesn't live on the west coast). She picked me up from the airport and told me she had a great apartment. The only problem with it was that she had to drive on the busiest freeway when she drove and that she hated that. We parked in her apartment parking lot and walked through a door and went into her apartment. It was a dorm-style room. She was living with 10 other people and the beds were all lined up next to each other. The "guest" bed was across from where she slept and it was about as wide as one person. Everyone had their recumbant bicycles in front of their bed (no one ever used their car). I had to use the restroom and I had to walk out of her apartment and down a hallway to a room where the door didn't go all the way to the floor or ceiling and the toilet faced the hallway - it was almost embarrassing to use. When I got back to the apartment I noticed a bathroom in the back, but I was told I couldn't use it because it was for residents only. Teresa was going to take me out on the town but she wasn't sure if I could handle the bicycle and she said she didn't have a car.

The dream changes to a voyage along a jungle river where natives are trying to sell me "tourist" items like exotic foods and fruits but I knew they were trying to oversell them and charge too much. It turned out I was just in a parking garage and not in a remote location.

Volleyball and Long Jump

I was a champion volleyball player. We had a spiking contest and I was doing really well except that I wasn't playing on a gym floor - it changed to sand volleyball and you couldn't jump the same in sand as on a hard floor. Then I was going to participate in a long jump contest where you used a pole to get a longer jump. There were judges there and everyone knew I was going to win.

The Past

I had just met a girl online that I instantly connected with for a friendship. She had the same things going on in her life that I had in mine. We lived in the same area and we decided to meet at a bar for lunch. Not a dive bar and not a high class bar, but a restaurant that also had a bar in it. I went to the bar and started running into all these people I used to know. I had to do some double-takes to make sure I recognized some of the people but everyone was there with open arms and warm greetings. My friend Austin, from LA, was there and he handed me a bunch of envelopes and some stamps, then he left. I opened one of the envelopes and it proposed marriage to me and that I was supposed to write my answer on an envelope and mail them all. I sat there, flabbergasted. I started to write "This is the most romantic thing that you can do, but I am already married and I have a family." I kind of kept replaying it in my head because I never finished my thought in the dream. Then I ran into another old friend and he dissed me completely - he wouldn't even talk to me - it was D.A. from high school. He said that I wasn't the person he thought I was - I was fat and ugly. Then I looked in a mirror and I had this really weird "bowl" type haircut, I was even shorter then I really am and weighed even more. Last but not least I ran into another guy, whose name I don't know, and put my arm around him and hesitently asked him if he wanted to have dinner later. He blatantly said "NO." I asked why and he said I knew. Typical conversation. Of course I said I didn't know and he said that he had already asked me out but that I didn't want to go hang out and eat dinner where you can drink and here I was in an establishment where you could do just that. I think we worked it out.

Cutting My Hair

So I've been thinking a lot about cutting my hair. I really want to. I thA ink I'm going to talk to my salon about doing a before/after session to see if I can get it cut for free - and donate the hair to Locks of Love - I hope it's long enough. But I'm in San Diego and I've been talking to my friend about cutting my hair. So last night I dreamt - I was at an event and one part of the event was all these stylists cutting hair and donating the money to a specific cause. (Don't ask me what the cause was.) A friend had just gotten his hair cut and it looked really good so I decided to do it, even though it was expensive. I stood in line and the girl I didn't know if I was supposed to go to Girl A or Girl B to go to and the one I went to said she only had one hour because she had to leave but she was spending the entire time talking to her mom about her mom's problem - the reason she had to leave early and then my friend that just got the good hair cut walked up and said that I couldn't see that girl and took me to someone else. That's when I woke up.

Friday's Dream - G's disobedience

I was at a party center with G and Little One and a woman who, though they weren't there, had grown children of her own. She was playing with us. Julie from Hillcrest C.B. was there too - I recognized her hair. The woman was driving us home and she let us out. G just ran across the street without looking. I was yelling at him....Julie was speeding up behind us and almost hit him. G turned around and was almost hit by a car going the other way. I spanked him and took everything I could think of away from him - computer, games, tv.....when I woke up. And when I was awake I was still mad at him.

Map Dot Fingerprint Dystrophy - Hope

So I saw Dr. Kitzmann today from the Cleveland Clinic who knows all about Map Dot Fingerprint Dystrophy and ABMD (Anterior Base Membrane Dystrophy) and, here's the catch, she was nice! She listened and had input and was super friendly. I just realized, looking back at my erosion journal, that I've had 12 erosions since the end of May. I wasn't sure if that was a lot and Dr. Kitzmann said it is and that, given that I've been religious with my Muro, it's time to take it to the next step. She was ready to do it then and there but we, together, decided that we'll wait for my next erosion once the new year starts (because that's when my deductible starts over again) and I'll come in on an emergency basis. She'll do an abrasion and micropuncture (stroml or stromo something - I don't the technical name for it) but that I don't need to do the lasik because my problem is very localized. She said that I'll have blurred vision for a few days and some discomfort and that I'll be seen by her for 3 months for follow ups and then a few more after that but that she thinks I'll be able to end my torture, that this will work for me. In the 5-10% chance it doesn't we'll try the procedure one more time.

I still have a long way to go. I have to wait for an erosion and then I'll have 3 months of daily antibiotic drops and contact bandages....and I'll hae to continue the muro until I'm sure that my eyes are lubricated enough on their own, but there seems to be an end in sight (no pun intended) even if it is a long-while off. YEA!

Israel

I was in Israel with a group trip. My kids were with me. We first stopped at a house where we were to become accustomed to the time change. We were all up and dancing, singing, eating. It was a ton of fun. I walked through the house looking for a restroom. While in there two men, soldiers, came in, talking to each other. They didn't know I was there. It turned out that I knew one of them from summer camp. (Note: The person in my dream wasn't someone I knew from summer camp, although I have met a lot of Israelis there.) I ran over to him and gave him a great big hug. He remembered my name and made fun of me for not remembering his. We were on a tour bus that had open windows and large flapping canvases and we stopped by a small stand to purchase trinkets. We were attacked by someone in the jungle (Israel - jungle - I know, I know). Then I couldn't tell if the soldier I knew was a good guy or a bad guy, though I'm thinking he was good.

The next stop on our tour was to a beach. It was dark and there wasn't a lot of sand. All of the sand there were in these large dunes and the waves were crashing, crashing very fast.

A Visit to the Hospital

So I had a rough night last night. I couldn't fall asleep, and then at 2 am G woke up and needed me - for all of 4 minutes, but a disruption nonetheless - and then at 6 am, a pain level 8 erosion from my Map Dot Fingerprint Dystrophy. My vision is still blurred and I'm exhausted, but I'm at work because I'm going out of town on Friday. So I definitely had a dream before my erosion and I was on the road to remembering it until I had my erosion. Here's my dream after my erosion (for all of 30 minutes I might have slept, but definitely long enough to dream):

I was at the hospital. I saw a relative, cousin or aunt, who was also being admmitted to the hospital, but I don't know for what. Dave was with me - being supportive. They put my relative and me in the same hospital room and my aunt B and cousin Emily came to visit us. All of a sudden I had to find out why Hulk (the wrestler) Hogan was choosing the musical path he was choosing. We had some starstruck people at the hospital want to stop by our room because of our affiliation with him. I was questioning him and we were all talking about it.

Gotta love the normalcy of the beginning of the dream to the "You're definitely in a dream" of the ending.

I'm thinking this was a sign that I should have my eyes checked again. I'm crossing my fingers that my boss can pull some strings with his ophthalmologist friend and that he actually knows something about Map Dot Fingerprint Dystrophy.

Rocky Horror Picture Show

I went to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I wasn't dressed punk or goth, just like me, and I remembered all the words. The actors at the movie theater weren't wearing cotumes - they were just sitting in chairs and singing along. It was hard to tell who was who, it was hard to watch the movie and the actors at the same time, and it was hard to see my friends who were there. Next thing I knew, I was walking with my step-mom past a baseball game. There were all these teams in the bleachers, and each were wearing distinctive colors. I thought it would be fun to cheer for one of the teams, even if I didn't know who they were. I cheered for the blue team and the coach got really, really mad at me. Something bad had happened after that but I don't remember what it is.

Research Study

I found this study at http://cat.inist.fr/?aModele=afficheN&cpsidt=18265841

Can anyone tell me what PTK using an excimer laser with low pulse energy and low number of pulses means? I was told by one doctor, whose authority I would want a second opionion on, that I should have a procedure where a hypodermic needle punctures my membrane. Is this the same thing or different?

Purpose: Patients with comeal map-dot-fingerprint dystrophy suffer typically from recurrent corneal erosion, disturbed vision, or both. The purpose of this study was to assess the morphologic and functional long-term results of minimal invasive subepithelial phototherapeutic keratectomy (PTK) for corneal map-dot-fingerprint dystrophy. Methods: Of a total of 390 PTKs performed between October 1994 and January 2004, 15 PTKs on 15 eyes of 11 patients were included in this single-center study. All patients had symptoms of recurrent comeal erosion; in 12 eyes, reduced visual acuity was observed. The median duration of complaints was 18 months. Using 193-nm excimer laser (MEL 60/70; Carl Zeiss-Meditec), a manually guided spot profile was applied in 7 cases (pulse energy, 12 mJ; repetition rate, 2/s or 3/s; 189-425 pulses). In 8 cases, a scanning slit mode was chosen (intended ablation, 1 μm/scan; repetition rate, 20/s; 150-483 pulses). In each case, a broad deepithelialization of the Bowman layer was followed by application of defocused overlapping laser pulses. Results: Complete epithelial closure was achieved after an average of 3.5 ± 0.6 days (median, 3 days). The mean follow-up was 4.8 ± 3.0 years, with a maximum of 9.3 years. Best corrected visual acuity increased from 0.7 ± 0.26 preoperatively to 0.9 ± 0.16 postoperatively. The keratometric central power remained constant (preoperatively, 43.0 ± 1.6 D; postoperatively, 42.6 ± 1.0 D). The average keratometric astigmatism remained constant (1.3 ± 0.9 D, preoperatively; 1.0 ± 0.5 D, postoperatively). In the early postoperative stage, subtle superficial comeal opacities ("haze") were observed in 6 eyes (40%), being completely reversible during the follow-up in 5 cases. No recurrence of corneal erosion was observed during the follow-up. Asymptomatic dystrophic signs in the midperiphery became visible in 2 eyes 3 and 5 years after PTK. Conclusion: For corneal map-dot-fingerprint dystrophy, PTK using an excimer laser with low pulse energy and low number of pulses can be considered an effective and minimal invasive treatment modality to achieve a fast and durable epithelial closure, to prevent recurrent corneal erosions, and to increase visual acuity in most patients.

Torture

Dave and I were in a house and we were being tortured by a woman. She took hypodermic needles filled with we didn't know what and she stuck it into Dave. Then she forced him to drink a full glass of what looked like Pepsi with ice, but there was something else in it too. At first she just made me watch and then she stuck a needle in me as well. She tried to force me to drink the liquid but she tried too fast and it just poured all over. Dave had a butcher knife and I told him just to end it, to kill me, that I didn't blame him for it but that it would be better for us. He didn't do it because I had woken up.