Dance Contest

I was at a dance contest. It was taking place in an auditorium, and the auditorium was full. There was a ramp in the middle where you could go out into the audience. It started with male stripper-style dancers and a whole bunch of women with wads of dollar bills, but they weren't doing anything with them. I was dancing and about to say hi to an old co-worker of mine when I saw my friend Rachel W. who was in the audience watching us with her family.

Next thing I know I'm standing on stage, along with the other contestants. I guess I had performed a solo dance out of the possible categories (solo, duet and group). There was a girl, Karin, who was standing behind me...she's the girl that looks just like Rachel W. I was trying to get Rachel's attention to point her out but Rachel was getting my attention because I hadn't heard my name called - I was a finalist! I ran over by the other finalists. I was standing right behind Aemi T. and her sister Judi R. (they both danced solo as well). There was another girl and an older man with a huge paunch - the janitor. He kept saying he didn't dance as well as he liked - that next year he'd dance much better.

They came out with the medals. The threw the first place medal to this girl we didn't know and the third place medal to the janitor. They originally were only going to have 2 winners but they decided that the grand winner was Ms. Rothenberg.....I said "which one?" The announcer said "the social one." I said "which one?" And she pointed to Judi. Judi won first place. I patted Aemi on the back and said now that she's got a family I guess she's not considered the "social one" anymore.

We looked at the medal and they had added the third medal since they hadn't planned on it. They had a piece of tin foil and they colored the letter "C" on it. Don't know why.

My Nightmare - Ants

OK - I know this is ridiculous, but I hate ants.....when they're outside I don't care about them but put one ant in my house and I turn into a nutcase. I don't care about spiders, unless they're monsters in size, but ants kill me. It all goes back to when I was living in California and they invaded my home. I was on the phone with Raid every day because I couldn't get rid of them. I still feel queezy in the stomach just thinking about it.

Now, couple my fear and neurotic dislike of ants and couple that with ant season in my house. Doesn't matter how clean or dirty my house is, every spring I get ants. It started with the big ones, which isn't the worst of the ants, but now I'm getting those little ones and they freak me out to no end. I know it's ridiculous but I've now started ant watch and look for anything moving. I cleaned my floor on my hands and knees last night - 11:00. I joke around but if you want me to clean anything in my house - throw in some ants and I'll clean it and let everything else go. Wedding to go to? Sorry, gotta get rid of the ants. My boy is graduating? Sorry, ants.

Well - last night I found my first ant of the season, and I just sprayed the entire outside of my house with ant spray the night before - maybe this is them getting back at me for killing a whole colony down by the end of my driveway - but it was GROSS! So, of course, last night I had a nightmare.

It starts with me in my house seeing one tiny ant. I dealt with it ok. Went about my normal business. My friends leave and I'm alone. I'm back and forth between inside my house and outside in the backyard. I see a few more ants and it icks me but I'm dealing. All of a sudden, there is a trail of ants back and forth and there's a swarm of flying ants. I look at this beaded wall hanging I made of a duck (which I really did make - it's hanging in my youngest's room) and when I make a closer inspection it's been consumed by the ants and they are making the picture of the duck. I walk in my kitchen and have an oven mitt in my hand. I go to kill one of the flying ants and wack it with the oven mitt. I couldn't squish it because that would have been gross - but the ant is about 1-2" big and it was gross. It had wings. I know I can't kill them all. Bizarrely, in the middle of the dream, I have a friend for brunch. We're sitting on my front porch - very New York restaurant style concrete sidewalk front porch. I have to walk inside to get something and remember about the ants.

I wake up whining and crying. At this time my youngest (about 5:30 a.m.) has a nightmare too. I go to lay with him but all I can think about is the stupid ants and my nightmare and I can't get back to a restful sleep.

A Visit

We were driving to see my brother and sister-in-law. We took a wrong exit and ended up going very far out of our way. We were looking at signs and thought we only had 2 miles to go but it turned out that we had 2 miles to go to reach the bridge. Dave was about to hit a curb that was twice the size of a normal curb, but when we hit it it made no impact.

We arrived at my brother's and he asked us what took so long. It was 11 at night. We told them we took exit 92 and they said we were supposed to take 91, the one before. My sister-in-law was about -8 months pregnant but when you looked at her from straight on you couldn't even tell. She was walking down the hallway pushing a stroller and wearing a light blue billowy shirt. We were then all sitting around talking and I went to feel the baby move. The baby was moving and she told me to press down but I started to press too hard and she told me to press softer and not touch the liquids, or something of that nature.

We were then standing outside a restaurant and a whole bunch of people came walking by holding what looked like extra large bills wrapped in saran wrap. One person opened the saran wrap and it turned out that it wasn't bills but it was really old documents that had been smuggled. All of a sudden the police swarmed and everyone was getting arrested.

Old Friends

I had a big, long dream last night. I kept waking up and I even remember trying to replay my dream so I wouldn't forget it, but of course I did. I've been having terrible dream memory lately, which goes along with my regular life of having a bad membory - early onset alzheimer's or just tiredness with too much to do? Probably the latter, but still. I do remember the end of my dream.

I was working at a counter and it was high up, like a Judge's bench but I wasn't a judge. It might have even been a club of some sort, so it could have been like a dj booth as well. I look down and see an old camp face and I yell Marc! It was Marc Greenwald. I look in his eyes and at his blonde hair and realize that it's his brother, Brian. They are so similar and the hair threw me off but I could tell by the eyes.

Then the dream continued from there. I vaguely remember an estate and a pond in front of it and having to walk on the rocks on the pond, but I could be mistaken. I'm thinking the Greenwals infiltrated my dream because they, along with a few other people I'd love to find from my past, are still elusive.

Aaaah well.

Living Proof

Yesterday I watched a movie called "Living Proof" which is about Dr. Slamon's work to get the Herceptin drug approved to treat breast cancer. It was a very interesting, very moving movie. Of course, it infiltrated my dream....

I was a patient in a hospital with cancer. I wasn't allowed to leave. I was watching another patient with her infant son and they were just sitting there and rocking. I was making phone calls, standing at a desk with a clipboard.

Then I was watching a wedding. The bride was sick. They were on the edge of a river. Some of the guests were about to jump in.

Then I was watching a patient who wanted to take a picture. It was Amy Poehler from SNL and she was sitting in a weird pose, almost like the pose from "Parks and Recreation", her new show, when she fell into the pit.

Yom Hashoa

A few days ago it was Yom Hashoa - Holocaust Remembrance Day. I ended up watching Schindler's List last night - and it went late, so of course it infiltrated my dream.

The only thing I remember: I was in one of the work camps and the liberation just occurred but Oman Goeth didn't want anyone getting out alive. I was standing there in a room crowded with people and he was about to puncture my chest with a ball point pen. I asked for a bullet instead. I held my hands up, yelled "I love you all" and was shot.

Gruesome, I know, but so was the holocaust. Here's to the survivors. I can't even imagine what you endured. If you ever get a chance to visit the Tolerance Museum in Los Angeles - it's a heavy day, but worthwhile.

Fish and a Game

We were at my brother-in-law's house. We were getting the kids to bed but the bed wasn't right. It was too tall or too long and we couldn't figure out where to put anyone. There was a bucket filled with fish tank fish and there was also a small pond. Someone was taking the bucket and they put it into the pond instead of the fish tank and there was a fuss over that. We were trying to get the fish back to where they belonged.

Then the dream changed to me standing in a small building. There was a bar at the one side where I was working. Not the kind of bar where you would order a drink but a slab of wood against a wall where you could eat. There was a small cash register as well. I was going through all of these books trying to rip out the coupon section and asked a man standing by me for help. He asked why I was doing it and I said, "My Kids."

G had a dream too. He said that someone gave him a gift certificate and he went to a game stop but it wasn't the game stop and he bought a new video game and it only cost $2. There was one cool "boy" game and all the rest were "girls." He was very excited about his dream.